Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Cue The Hallelujah Chorus: Metro Council Ready To Be The Savior Of Christmas

Bruce Barry over at PiTW provides the text of the "Saving Christmas" resolution to be introduced at tonight's Metro Council meeting:
WHEREAS, Jesus Christ is an actual man who was born over 2,000 years ago, as recorded by history;
WHEREAS, Jesus' life and teachings were and are so extraordinary that they have profoundly impacted the entire world, especially the United States of America; and.... WHEREAS, ninety percent of Americans consider themselves Christians, according to a recently completed national survey; and
WHEREAS, the modern world's calendar is categorized into two major sections: B.C. - before Christ's birth, and A.D. - after Christ's birth; and
WHEREAS, the vast majority of Americans are not offended by use of the words Christmas and Merry Christmas, but rather give and receive love, hope, comfort and joy to and from one another by using those words....
NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED BY THE COUNCIL OF THE METROPOLITAN GOVERNMENT OF NASHVILLE AND DAVIDSON COUNTY:
Section 1. That the Metropolitan County Council hereby goes on record as affirming and supporting the use of the words Christmas or Merry Christmas, instead of non-descript, generic terms such as Happy Holidays, Winter Festival, and the like, when referring to Metro Government events or activities traditionally associated with Christmas.
Why stop there? I have a suggestion for a second resolution that would compliment the first one very nicely:

WHEREAS, "Fa-la-la-la-laaaah, La-la la la" was actually written in and recorded by history as part of the Christmas carol, "Deck the Halls," and
WHEREAS, the Metro Council is now the official sponsor of Christmas, and the Metro Council Chambers has some halls, and Council members are not afraid to "don their gay apparel" on Tuesday nights, regardless of the proximity of any lesser holiday
NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED BY THE COUNCIL OF THE METROPOLITAN GOVERNMENT OF NASHVILLE AND DAVIDSON COUNTY:
Section 1-&-1/2. That the Metropolitan County Council hereby goes on record as supporting the change of its own name to "Fa-la-la-la-laaaah, La-la la la," instead of non-descript, generic terms such as "Metropolitan County Council," "Metro Council," and the like when referring to that representative body who this Christmas exhibits a messiah complex.

1 comment:

  1. That motion is much more in order than mine. Folly is the correct term. Thanks, Paul.

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