Sunday, April 02, 2006

By Itself Justification for Tough Neighborhood Overlay Restrictions

One of the new retro builds over in East Nashville near Martin's Corner Market with a satellite dish attached to the porch.

What the hell are these people thinking? That this looks okay? I'm a believer in balance between overlay restrictions and individual initiative, but this is a strike against all those who believe that people should be allowed to do absolutely anything they want to their own houses. We consider self-mutilation a dysfunction; perhaps dwelling-mutilation should also be considered a disorder in need of proper treatment. In this case, proper treatment might involve throwing a tight spiral at that dish.

12 comments:

  1. If there was ever a person who belonged in a covenant controlled community, it's you. I for one am completely fine with it. I'm just happy that they don't park on their lawn.

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  2. Truthfully, I'm not a fan of those covenants. I do think that municipal restrictions should stipulate placement of mountable dishes, and that dishes should not be fixed below the level of the cable lines, otherwise dense residential areas strike the pose of post-analog porcupines. I have no doubt that technofiles and dish installers aren't driven by such aesthetic concerns. However, pure utility is overrated.

    As for your relief that they don't park on the lawn: that's a low baseline. It would still allow them to park on the street, take the engine out of their car, haul it up on the porch for maintenance, and hang it right next to the dish until the overhaul is complete. At least they wouldn't be parking on their lawn.

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  3. I agree. This is a real eyesore. They should have installed a ten foot dish in the yard instead.

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  4. Reducing the size of something ugly only makes it small and ugly, which in turn encourages the following thought process: "Hey. We can attach this to the front porch now!" It's the digital equivalent of installing your washer and dryer on the front porch.

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  5. wait, you were talking about the sattelite dish? I thought the eyesore was that yellow 'caution gas pipeline' banner. or perhaps the pile of construction garbage to the left of the fence. silly me.

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  6. The very definition of self-evidence: the construction garbage and the gas pipeline banner are understood to be temporary for the sake of those building something more permanent. The satellite dish, bolted into brick, is obviously designed for permanency, that is, for permanent incongruency and lasting ugliness.

    So, why not go ahead and install the washer and dryer on the porch, too? That would make for more roominess inside. Laundry goes out dirty and comes back in clean. It was good enough for our grandparents, wasn't it?

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  7. Not saying that they should be forced to do it, but if they painted the dish the same color as the building behind it, it would be almost invisible. We did that and even the dish technician didn't notice it on the front corner of the house when he came.

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  8. I came here to express my concurrence with the notion that it was probably not the homeowner that decided to put that there, but the installer. I fought with my dish installers (they didn't want to climb too high up the roof) and they ended up having to come back and re-install the dish. Ya gotta be tough with those guys.

    I predict there's at least one person in that household who's unhappy about that dish placement.

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  9. Re: painting the dish--now, that's the first sensible and constructive suggestion a commenter has made today. If I caught any more snark on this, I was going to point out that we integrate functional utilities on our house aesthetically and expect as much of others all the time. Rain gutters and downspouts are a good example. I think that it is widely accepted that gutters get painted some color to compliment the house. Very rarely do you see bare metal gutters, which scream function, as if the rest of us need to see that channeling water away from a house is important. Instead, the expectation is that gutters get painted to blend and sometimes disappear into the house rather than stick out like an eyesore satellite dish.

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  10. "Truthfully, I'm not a fan of those covenants. I do think that municipal restrictions should stipulate placement of mountable dishes."

    What you're saying is, turn all of Nashville into a covenant controlled community.

    Have you talked to these folks about it? That would seem to be a less radical solution than having the city enforce your personal desires.

    - Marc (in Sumner County)

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  11. It never ceases to amaze me how much people think they should be able to control what other people do with their PRIVATE property.

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  12. Which part of "balance between restrictions and initiative" do you not understand?

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