BREAKING: Detectives Report that Stolen MEC Laptop Buyers Will Be Arrested Tonight

One of the more exciting pieces of news divulged at tonight's Salemtown Neighbors business meeting was that two persons who bought Metro Election Commission laptops from the homeless thief who stole them on Christmas Eve will be arrested tonight. Metro Detectives attended the neighborhood meeting to talk about the theft and sale of the computers containing 337,000 voters' social security numbers, and they told us that two specific persons are due for arrest tonight: one is turning himself in willingly and the other is on the lam, but he is expected to be apprehended. The detectives also told the group that they did not believe that any voter information was compromised.