To tell you the truth, I might have been a willing contributor to the motorcyclists had I known about it ... that is, I might have been willing until I heard Wynonna Judd unload some kind of chip off her shoulder during the News 2 interview. From what I could hear, this is what she said from her position inside a camouflage jacket:
It's just like ... and anybody ... I have a ... the army guys at Fort Campbell gave me a jacket and I wear it through the airport and, if one person says one word, it's all I can do ... I'm gonna get arrested. I'm tellin' you.Now, getting arrested is not exactly something that Wynonna is unaccustomed to, but I take it that she is threatening somebody with some sort of law-breaking activity, since that is the act most logically and most likely to get her arrested.
An arrestable threat in this context has either got to do with assaulting someone or committing a felony. It's hard to figure out whom she is threatening with what, and News 2 didn't clue me in, but here is a list of possible candidates whom Wynonna might be targeting:
- Those huge numbers of war protesters who hang out in airports and harass travelers for no good reason at all. I can hardly wade through their neverending sit-ins in order to stand in long lines at the security check points. All those war protesters just waiting to give Wynonna a dressing down over a camouflage jacket. They're why I can never find a parking space at the airport.
- Security officials whom she assumes will overzealously force her to relinquish the jacket because she thinks that they think it might inspire acts of terrorism. So, she's willing to have a flight delayed basically to make a point to airport security officers, whom we expect to guard us rather than be Patriot Wynonna's personal foil.
- Anybody with the slightest fashion sense who might criticize Wynonna for dressing more like a M*A*S*H nurse than a matron of the music industry. Everyone knows the terminals are teaming with traitorous fashion consultants looking for Wynonna to blip on their radar screens.
- Any airport bartender who cuts her off the tap after she climbs on the bar and yells, "I'm a paratrooper! I'm a paratrooper on my first solo exit! 'Chute deployed!"
But whomever may be the object of her empty threats, it's good to see that Wynonna is going to the greatest possible lengths of personal sacrifice by scheduling fun road trips in support of the war effort. Sprees that include riding hogs in the Tennessee heat no doubt prepare her for the supreme sacrifice of going to jail on behalf of a jacket should any war protester, security guard, fashion consultant, or airport bartender stand in her way.
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